SNEATON FOREST PARSLEY BECK 17 MAY 09

Bright with SE 4 /5 winds Temp 12 deg C

This is from the official Forestry Commission website's introduction to Sneaton :

Q

Sneaton Forest combines the traditional diversity of old oak and ash forest with modern pine and spruce plantations.

UNQ

The previous weekend, Chris Wright of CLOK had mentioned the event . He said it was a good area and had been renamd Parsley Wood - which sounds a bit cosier than Sneaton Forest - conjuring up an image of Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall plucking bits of weed for his kitchen and pretending he knows how to cook it.

I didn't see Chris Wright on the day - but maybe he got confused by the name change.

Changes of name are usually associated with an attempt to erase a past negative history : Windscale to Sellafield; British Leyland to Austin Rover; Labour to New Labour; Conservative to David Cameroon's Conservatives; Gideon to George Osborn; Katie Price to Jordan . Some of them work ok - like Gideon to George. Others just continue to carry the same bad whiff associated with the old one. Which was it for CLOK - in an area (apparently notorious by the standards of Forestry Commission 'managed' sites ).

So It's Sneaton and Parsley.

Maybe CLOK have hit upon a good idea with this - so we can start renaming some of our areas to make them look new or as an ad man would say ( with a nose for cash but little else) to freshen them up a bit .

It looked bad on the way in . Th FC had cropped some areas with the usual post nuclear devastation (see photo) - and the only non pine I saw, were a couple of wind sown downy birches.

The CLOK personnel were cheerful in their blue tent with Alastair Mackenzie amazingly there at 11 am (1 1/2 hours before the starts closed) - which surely meant that the brown course was going to prove to be difficult. A few asked where I'd been - worryingly that was before I had set off.Lots of comment about how pleased the planner was with the area . The planner was unable to answer my immediate question - about whether he'd seen any parsley in Parsley's Wood when he was out 'planning'- or whether the Parsley was the herb surname of some way gone Yorkshire farmer . I said I'd keep my eyes open for the parsley and bring some back if I found any .

It was a leisurely start - grinding along drainage ditches in a dense claustrophobic spruce forest. As usual there was the occasional brutish patch of newly sown spruce just to mix things up. Things did get better as on the south side of a beck there was a good slice of open woodland which was good running. Presumably the FC couldn't squeeze in their regular geometric stands in this uneven broken area. Some bits looked as if they could get over run with brackenas the season wore on - but at least currently it was well down.

One of the classic controls was 'distinctive tree' - with that stylised outline of a Christmas tree as the IOF symbol. Not a frequent control on courses. But the conifer can also represent a distinctive deciduous tree - IOF not having sub categorised the disticntive tree symbol into coniferous, deciduous ( one of those candy floss on a stick would work ) and maybe something for larches - with maybe leaves dropping off a conifer. IOF seem to churn out any number of symbols for walls and fences that I'm sure this sub category of tree could work. Probably going a bit too far to sub categorise it even more .

The FC had achieved a super result with the distinctive tree. In a clearing in a block of spruce stood the blackened statue of an oak. It became apparent on closer inspetion that the FC had not yet worked out the difference between conseravtion and preservation. The original pioneer forresters as they laid out their grid iron had clearly deided that the tree was special . So to achieve the double objective of preserving it and making sure that no one but CLOK planners would ever find it - they had run their columns of spruce around it leaving the oak a bit of breathing space. So far so good . But 60 years later the spruce had outgrown the oak - at a fast rate. So high in fact that any light to the oak had been curtained out. No sunshine - no photosynthesis - and the tree left out to hang. Super management.

The rest of the run was mixture of some nice open strips , twisting through bits of pine and a nice gladey run through some sitka with the ditch mounds clothed in bilberry ( another name change now to blueberry just to satisfy our American friends who can just about cope with colours - but probably a retrograde name change)..

It was a decent area to run but with some hazards and one area of really rough pine forest. Overall times were a little slow and for our contingent it was again Barnaby and Bob who most impressed from our team.

On the name change , NATO seem to be adopting a reworking of the their brand name to N&TO - which looks a little like B&B - the bankrupt bank - or just b&b for a night's bed. Not sure the & works - ever. Not even the CLOK people bothered with it in the reworked name for Sneaton.

LEWISBURN AND RUSHY KNOWE 10MAY 09

Bright sunny 11 deg C Light westerly

Day 2 of NATO'S Kielder experience :impenetrable low slung Norwegian spruce slashing needle cuts in arms ; bogs of treacle ; pesto marshes ; mud ; gulley ditches with uphill flowing frothy booze ; slippery fallen trees felled by the Jumblies whose heads are green and hands are blue and who went to sea in a sieve.

There was the added bonus of a hummocky , lumpy grassy area with dozy looking cows pondering oblivion . Then the finish at Leaplish on Dave's map etched in as a tiny footnote to Colin's masterpiece.

The event was planned by that most gentle of gentlemen Alastair Wilson- Craw of http://www.recyk-ya-bike.com/ fame. He managed to come up with some physical brutes of controls but didn't seem too bothered about it.

Bob and I got there in fair time (usual 90 minute drive there) - only to find a 3 km stroll into the start - along the brand new bike track . Really fine job . It really is worth getting the mountain bikes up there. Quite a few of the gates had been left open ( and it couldn't have been us orienteers as we always jump over fences rather than take gates). This was down to the bike anti gate warrior that we came across heading north west who thought it was her job to object to the presence of gates on HER bike track. Probably more important things for her to worry about - with the Daily Mail going up in price next week which should really upset her even more. Bob was left to engage with her - as he's the diplomat.

At the start the NATO staff issued helpful warnings about NOT to cross the stream between 12-13 but to proceed down river to the bridge that was cunningly unmarked on Colin's map. Very tricky . It's always the bits off the map that are truly worth exploring. Unusual for NATO to give any warnings - other than to me for the time of course closure.

I took the brown course - and first run after having missed most of the winter with injuries , trips away and a month long bug. Thankfully Bob took blue and the first control was the same - so up and running ( but only on the tracks - forest as dense as ever). It was slow going in places with the real adventure trying to work out which ditches were mapped.You are left to wonder how the forestry people managed to plant only 1 species of pine and 1 of spruce - when there must be at least 50 of each with some really dramatic names.

The course exploited the sharp ridge to the north east to the full with planners having fun dragging runs up and across. The real hammer was a 40 metre ascent to the ridge with mud and loose ground giving way underfoot and my first and only swear word of the day. It was a real struggle but then - best bit of the course - a run through 250 metres of an open grassy larch glade ( isn't that the name of a toilet cleaner). Pity the rest of Kielder wasn't the same. I felt like running round it a few times to stretch the legs - normally I would but more down to a failure to consult the map.

Then the stream crossing . As my legs are longer than most then the good 'advice' could be ignored as it had to be quicker than the bridge . We all learnt a lot about river crossings/hydrography on Rob's course at Cong Burn in Feb this year . Rob reckons rivers should be crossed on one of his courses at least 5 times and usually only after there has been sustained snow upstream for 4 days . He usually reserves you the option of a motorway bridge 2 miles downstream or a handout on how to make a raft.He doesn't accept any refusal to cross a stream in flow.

Plenty of sticks around to dip the crossing - and looking a bit like a water diviner who has found water. Rule 1 of rivers is to cross up stream of rapids unless you are Harrison Ford ( good pun) which means you are very stupid and cross the rapids themselves. I come to rule 2 in a minute. So with about 25 m to cross - so far so good but quite wet already. Rule 2 says the water on an outer bank of a river bend is always deeper than the inner . Now the problem as the water sloshed around the upper thighs. Up on the bank and surely a few seconds gained . Surely worth it.

The other highlights were crossing paths with Debbie while running through a dense patch of forest - which meant I was surely near a control - and also got a warm cheer. Then the bad news - stab from some rusty barbed wire resulting in an early morning tetanus jab from a hefty nurse who also took my blood pressure 'as it could be that we can give you some dietary advice to reduce your weight if your blood pressure is high' . Yes sure. What advice are you taking on this?

( Incidentally, Debbie had no sympathy when she explained Julian's absence as due to a splinter at an event the previous month that had caused a blood infection - so maybe I was unusually cautious on this. At least I didn't have to update Julian on the Baltic Dry Index ).

Best day's performance by NN, was young Barnaby Warren who blazed his way to beat the biggest field of all on the day on the light greens and was rewarded with an ice cream.

My reward was standing in the reservoir trying to wash the mud off most of the lower half of my body . But then on a fine warm day who needs to rush these things.

WARCOP 9 MAY 2009

Army ranges near Brough - temp 6 deg C - windchill -1 deg C driving rain on BF 6 SW.

Watches were synchronised for 1400 GMT sharp for the start of the Military TA Champs in the Harris Relay. Unlike the usual O relay , the Harris requires a high degree of organisation planning and initiative - which is why the Navy were not able to find a team.

Our own Maj. B Spence explained the rules clearly and coherently and displayed a set of medals for those who were able to complete the course without needing a fag (can't imagine many were claimed ) . The military people asked a lot of very serious questions like who was providing the air cover and whether bayonets should be fixed. The NN team were more concerned about finding a cap for Bob and staying warm behind the toilet block ( the smarter squaddies knew it was warmer to stay inside the toilet block}.

Not sure what happened next but Boris handed Pte Fraser a brown envelope with 3 maps inside ( Rob having decided our 3 man team should do the 4 man course). As we were soft civvies we did the planning in my car.

Rob - looking to catch the attention of the recruiting seargeant -assumed Capt Manwaring's role and decided who should collect which controls. This was 'planned' on the basis of :
a. The ones which were in the nice runnable areas would be done by Rob
b. I would pick up all those controls which were in a foot of standing water or near a minefield
c. Bob would do the rest.
Control 45 was memorable - because Rob had worked out it was on the wrong side of the hill (?!) - so the gem was his. He then set off - ordering that we meet at control 70 about 50 m from the finish.

The weather was rough - so rough that you couldn't light a fag. Having finally got a felt tip pen to write (and deleting no 45 from my list) I was last out and headed out across the grenade throw zone and then across a few water hazards then into a nice patch of Lodgepole Pine. Water was leaking through me in minutes and the pen ink began to run on the map. Every few minutes there was rapid gun fire - but the sheep didn't seem that bothered.I bet Forest Gump never did a Harris event.

I was back in double quick time actually PDQ- so quick I had time to get my camera from the car. Minutes passed and Bob appeared .......quite a lot more minutes until Rob limped in clutching his hip. It wasn't clear if this was an old shrapnel wound, flat feet or if he'd misread the map and ended up as a target in the firing range - and if he had why he had been missed ( with his bright yellow jacket on )....

It looked as if we could be on for a prize - although Rob's gloomy expression suggested we were doomed. Then the reconciliation as we rattled through the numbers - and that was the fix. Rob blamed me - I blamed him - Bob said he wasn't to blame. Rob accused me of being too laid back , chaotic and badly organised. I said I was only obeying orders and anyway I was much wetter than anyone else. Bob said 'mmmm'. There was no no.45. and that was that.

Maj B Spence - who knows a few things - said our commanding officer R McK should take the can. Had it been a mission in theatre then we'd have failed . We'd have been captured by the enemy - unless they'd been Italian or French. Capt McK would have been reduced in the ranks or better still court martialled.Fortunately as civvies we only lost 15 mins rather than the withdrawal of the fag allowance and double corned beef rations.

Any ideas what the military purpose of the Harris is - other than to get people wet ? Do they have a different course for pacifists ? Maybe we'll try the pacifist one next year